Separation Anxiety

It has been a week since we parted ways but I still have that heavy something clogging my airways. I call it separation anxiety and from the looks of it, I think I’ll be suffering it the whole summer break.

I know it’s weird. While everyone perhaps is enjoying all the perks of this vacation, from sleeping 16 hours a day to watching TV ad infinitum, I’m here silently praying that things go faster and the summer break end when I wake up the next morning. Some may actually kill me for this but somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind I want this break over and see the opening of classes at once.

But wait, I don’t want to be actually back in classes. I have a far more profound* reasons for this madcap proposition. Of course, I need a break from all those exams and lectures; I was stressed to the bones like anybody else. But something’s really weird in this break that actually stresses me too.

It’s just this. For two years straight, I’ve been with the best people, the happiest folk and the cutest creatures. I found friends, good friends, and close friends, and we really had great times together. No contention here, I love my IMED family. And now, this two-month respite would be the longest time that we won’t be seeing each other. Physically and mentally, we all need this rest. But why can’t I rest? A weakness perhaps but I see it more of a failure to reconcile certain tenets governing my life.

I’m not saying I don’t enjoy my stay with my family during vacations. In fact, I love it here away from the dirty busy streets of Manila. But, when I’m alone and thinking really deep, there’s this longing to be back, to hear again the noise of the city, to enjoy once again food trips and overnight juicy conversations, and to see all those happy faces which made me happiest for the past two years.

Is it really normal that you miss your friends already as soon as after you say good bye? What’s missing anyway? It’s just a desire of somebody’s presence. It’s a desire, can it be considered hedonistic? Or here I am again, overthinking again and just being overly emotional. Hey wait! These are just my feelings. Cursed hypothalamus and limbic system! Why did God create all those brain structures and functions? I think I need Prozium, and I need it ASAP.

A friend told me time would be the hardest to cheat. And as of press time, no time machine has been successfully made, not even in blueprints. She told me too that she believes I’ll be able to “survive” this summer. Seems like summer break for me is the school year and the school year is my break. Perhaps, I’m not just fond of doing nothing; my adventurous personality can’t tolerate two months of staying at home, doing nothing productive. Now I’m asking for a summer job and the idea doesn’t please me at all. Haaaay…Why should I be complicating things? In the end, my diagnosis would be: SORELY MIISSING FRIENDS. ACUTE SEPARATION ANXIETY.

And the prescription of my good friend: CHILL.

On the last day before the break, when I was having my heavily dramatic, close to theatrical, farewell with my friends, a very close friend told me just this: “Summer lang yan.”

Yeah, it’s really one summer break, what’s that to the five and more years we will be spending together? To 2011 and beyond!